I met a girl with hair that’s gold
She said “I’m Heather” I said “I’m sold”
I took her hand, I said let’s dance
I could use a little romance
I thought that she could be the one
I took home to meet my Mum
I woulda taken her to meet Dad
But he left when I was young, she said “That’s sad”
For three years now we’ve lived in bliss
But gather round boys, let me tell you this:
It all came to a crashing end
When I found her fucking all of my friends
CHORUS
How could I be so blind, how could I not see
Heather’s fucking everyone, everyone but me
She broke my heart, she’s a demon for the nether
You can spot a raincloud, but you can’t predict the Heather
The first time I noticed something wrong,
I caught her kiss my mate John
Coulda let it go, coulda bit my lip
But my mate Pat was filming it
I was working hard, I was really tryin’
Then she gave a blow job to my friend Ryan
She said I’m sorry please take me back
With a finger up the arse of my mate Jack
My Canadian friend over from Regina
Fucker her…in my best recliner
I lost my mind, I flipped my lid
Why was she so bad at hidin’ this?
CHORUS
How could I be so blind, how could I not see
Heather’s fucking everyone, everyone but me
She broke my heart, she’s a demon for the nether
You can spot a raincloud, but you can’t predict the Heather
When I caught her out with my pal Rich
He used his tongue to dig her ditch
She said don’t worry, it’s a mistake
Thought I was sitting on a chair but it was his face
At the office party we couldn’t be happier
‘Til she shagged an old guy on the photocopier
It was final straw, I was so mad
That the old guy was my estranged Dad
Now Heather’s gone out of my life
And I think I wanna die
It’s all come to a crashing end
I think I need better friends
CHORUS
How could I be so blind, how could I not see
Heather’s fucking everyone, everyone but me
She broke my heart, she’s a demon for the nether
You can spot a raincloud, but you can’t predict the Heather
You can spot a raincloud, but you can’t predict the Heather
You can spot a raincloud, but you can’t predict the Heather
